Meaning

Small page of what brings meaning to my life.

I have this philosophy partly inspired by Alan Watts but also my experiences with psychedelics that universe is genuinely random beautiful chaos that is partly conscious.

I also believe that I as a human am lucky to be born a human. I could of been born a cow in some pasture. Or small male chick that is born just to be murdered soon after on a conveyer belt for global food optimization.

Given this, I do not eat meat and have that as one of my values. I don't want to contribute financially for this to go on.

Not just because I want everyone else to have a life of as little suffering as possible but because I could be that life. There is a beautiful story about this that I like.

So in all practical terms, there is really 2 concrete goals in life that I see. Minimize suffering for myself and others. And as Elon says, do and build everything to be able to actually explore the universe and ask new questions.

It's all about pushing the frontier of knowledge more.

Life is genuinely absurd. I had many beautiful moments on mushrooms but there is one that still comes to mind where I looked at some plant and the fractals would show on it. In some prestine quality and it was just endless, infinite.

It's of course all just drugs playing tricks with my mind but it's crazy how we have this mind that evolved to filter all this noise (photons of light etc.) to give me some picture of the world.

Having said above, I don't believe in endless life. I think life ends when it ends and that is that. Life will go on, there is 100% certainty of that but that would be not my life.

All I can do is enjoy the genuinely little time I have. I am 30 now, My dad is around 55 and it hurts to know that life is finite. My most loved dog, Rachel died not that long ago and it still affects me to this day.

I could of given more hugs. I could of given more treats. I could of earned more money for more treats. And so on.

I value, genuinely everyone that I meet that is kind to me and who inspires me. And there are many humans like this. I thought to list them here but it would be a disservice to others as there are genuinely many great humans that have helped me personally in life.

Who bet on me. Hired me for that first job. Made that small but first investment in a project. Helped me mentally when I was unwell and stopped believing in myself.

I center my life around being productive and kind to others. Given that, I structure and focus my time wisely as time is limited. The problems to work on are not the same as far as impact goes.

I also am reminded by a conversation I had with a friend about the purpose of this universe. I mean it is clear that all humanity really is, is a bootloader to some AGI. Any civilization that does not make stupid decisions or is just unlucky will get to AGI.

Once you get AGI and you get silicon life. You get entities that are by all their purpose strictly superior than humans. You can have human experience in a silicon body, I am sure, nothing really stops that from happening.

Only thing is you get many benefits from it along the way, like actually not caring about the decaying body and all its diseases and aging.

But the interesting part is not that. Why have this universe in the first place? For what purpose? His theory was that this universe is a kind of computer program that is maximizing 'interesting moments'. All the branches that are non interesting are pruned away with time.

I notice that as I live my life too. Life is by all intents and purposes much more exciting and faster moving and genuinely more interesting than it was in 2010.

Whatever the purpose of this computer program that is this universe, has to have something to do with making the experience of living this life as interesting as possible.

There is still the question of why of course. And it's all just a theory. Maybe we meet aliens one day and they have their ideas on meaning of this universe and life in it.

There is also DMT and how it affects the mind. I personally haven't broken through on it yet but I experienced Salvia breakthrough and that is truly wild. This comment does resonate to me as I had similar experiences on mushrooms.

DMT has a way of making what we experience as baseline reality feel so artificial. It can feel like DMT is actually undoing the hallucination. It feel realer than real. We process vibrations into sensory input that is used to generate “reality”. Different wavelengths of vibrating air molecules become sounds. Different wavelengths of photons become colors. Whatever that humming noise is, feels like an aspect of that baseline reality you are about to leave behind. Some function of our mind that is about to be obsolete for the next ten to fifteen minutes.

Although to be fair my experiences with heavy doses of psychedelics is more similar to this. That is at the edges it always feels like I am God or whatever the word is for an entitity that is generating this reality. All the experience I have lived or am living right now is being generated right at the moment.

It's a freaky feeling but it feels very real. Don't know what lesson is that aside from human mind being a wild peice of biological software. The crazy thing is that rationally speaking, yes I am this entity fully generating this reality (my reality) because as far as the mind is concerned, it's processing all kinds of inputs and tries to create a picture of the world.

In sober life, you don't have the time to really try dig into how the machine that is the mind filter works but there is certainly a filter. And there is certainly something genuinely freaky about how put together this reality really is. How consistent it is in its laws of physics.

This all sounds like ramblings of mad person though, you have to actually experience it to get it. And I doubt my experience is unique in this, I think it's just a rational conclusion of reality that is.

I hope we get to silicon life soon and AGI.

And of course I think it is obvious that if this is not indeed a simulation of some kind. The real logical conclusion to what this universe is all about is that the universe however conscious it is, just wants to be experienced. From different perspectives.

For reasons unknown. Whatever the limits of this universe are though, they must be hit. Space faring civilization, fully robotic life immersed with humans. Matter created and assembled with mere thought. All doable within 10 years I think if we try harder collectively. I am going to do my part to go faster.